I need someone, a person to talk to. Someone who’d care, to love, could it be you? Could it be you? Situation gets rough, then I start to panic. It’s not enough, it’s just a habit — hey, kid, you’re sick. Well, darling, this is it. You can all just kiss off into the air. Behind my back, I can see them stare. They’ll hurt me bad, but I won’t mind. They’ll hurt me bad; they do it all the time.
And, see … that’s a big reason of why I love these two together. Bela and Lilith are both dominant personalities who, for one reason or another, eschew looking vulnerable — Bela because she thinks vulnerability leads to being hurt and abused, and as such is only preferable to death; Lilith because, in the position of power she holds, any weakness on her part could jeopardize the movement that she dedicates her life to. And because of this, both of them are profoundly lonely characters.
Bela tries to tell herself that she doesn’t need anyone’s help — and when she’s proven wrong, it’s easier for her to give Dean and Sam money than say, “thanks” — or anyone’s kindness; Lilith has to keep her real thoughts and emotions close to the chest or everything she loves could fall apart… and, at that, the demon she apparently confides in the most is Ruby, and only to keep Ruby doing her job, so… Lilith doesn’t really have anyone to confide in here. Bela’s parents abused and mistreated her; Lilith’s been dumped on, abused, abandoned, and thrown into Hell.
Lilith’s actions while possessing the little girl in “No Rest For The Wicked” say that she wants both obedience and an affection she’s been constantly denied since Lucifer got locked in his cage — and that even seeing her dream realized won’t bring her because she has to die in order for him to get out. Bela’s actions say that she trusts absolutely no one — except the demon who keeps giving her tasks (find different magical artifacts, get the Colt, kill Sam) with the promise of letting her out of her Deal. We know through Becky that Crowley is the one Bela gives the Colt to, and possibly who she has more immediate direct communication with, but the orders there have to come from Lilith since Crowley most likely wasn’t King of the Crossroads yet.
And, as I said at the outset, there’s a fundamental powerplay with Bela/Lilith, a fundamental inequality — but I think that, because they’re both so outstandingly lonely, there’s also an understanding. Bela can appreciate the skill and power and usefulness of other people, and I think that, in Lilith, she would see someone who knows how it feel to have it bad on all angles and keep on going, regardless.
Likewise, Lilith would see a lot of herself in Bela — a hotter temper, granted, but still, the loneliness, the refusal to be vulnerable or taken advantage of, the perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds. I think she’d see a lot of potential in Bela, that she’d have fun playing with Bela’s temper, and that she’d want Bela to have the chance to be more than just another human, grasping at straws and picking up scraps.
from my Bela/Lilith mini-manifesto.
Thirty Days of SPN Women, Day Twenty-One: Favourite femslash ship (1/4) — Bela/Lilith.