10 Days of SPN Ships, Day One: Your End All OTP — Bela/Lilith.
I’ll pretend that I want you for what is on the inside
But when I get inside I’ll just want to get out.
I’m your first and last deposit, through sickness and in Hell.
I’ll never you promise you a garden, you’ll just water me down…
When I said, “we,” you know I meant, “me.”
And when I said, “sweet,” I meant, “dirty”…
I never believed the Devil was real,
but God couldn’t make someone filthy as you.
Who is the third who walks always beside you?
When I count, there are only you and I together
But when I look ahead up the white road
There is always another one walking beside you
Gliding wrapt in a brown mantle, hooded
I do not know whether a man or a woman
—But who is that on the other side of you? …
The jungle crouched, humped in silence.
Then spoke the thunder
DA
Datta: what have we given?
My friend, blood shaking my heart
The awful daring of a moment’s surrender
Which an age of prudence can never retract
By this, and this only, we have existed
Which is not to be found in our obituaries
Or in memories draped by the beneficent spider
Or under seals broken by the lean solicitor
In our empty rooms
— TS Eliot, “The Waste Land.”
Evening on the ground and there is no one else around, so you will blame me — blame me for the rocks and baby bones and broken lock on the garden, garden wall of Eden, for the spider bites and all your love as we were — we were born to fuck each other, one way or another. But I’ll only lie down by the waterside at night.
You can’t lie to me, Bela. I see it all — how odd you always felt, how… out of place in that..… family of yours. And why shouldn’t you have? They were foster care — at best. I’m your real family. It’s true, and I know you know it. All those times you ran away, you weren’t running from them. You were running towards me. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, you know. I let Sarah live, didn’t I? I want her to live. I’ll bring Ruby and Anna back, too. I want you to be happy, Bela.
AU MEME: Bela and Lilith have the true vessel relationship, instead of Sam and Lucifer.
I need someone, a person to talk to. Someone who’d care, to love, could it be you? Could it be you? Situation gets rough, then I start to panic. It’s not enough, it’s just a habit — hey, kid, you’re sick. Well, darling, this is it. You can all just kiss off into the air. Behind my back, I can see them stare. They’ll hurt me bad, but I won’t mind. They’ll hurt me bad; they do it all the time.
And, see … that’s a big reason of why I love these two together. Bela and Lilith are both dominant personalities who, for one reason or another, eschew looking vulnerable — Bela because she thinks vulnerability leads to being hurt and abused, and as such is only preferable to death; Lilith because, in the position of power she holds, any weakness on her part could jeopardize the movement that she dedicates her life to. And because of this, both of them are profoundly lonely characters.
Bela tries to tell herself that she doesn’t need anyone’s help — and when she’s proven wrong, it’s easier for her to give Dean and Sam money than say, “thanks” — or anyone’s kindness; Lilith has to keep her real thoughts and emotions close to the chest or everything she loves could fall apart… and, at that, the demon she apparently confides in the most is Ruby, and only to keep Ruby doing her job, so… Lilith doesn’t really have anyone to confide in here. Bela’s parents abused and mistreated her; Lilith’s been dumped on, abused, abandoned, and thrown into Hell.
Lilith’s actions while possessing the little girl in “No Rest For The Wicked” say that she wants both obedience and an affection she’s been constantly denied since Lucifer got locked in his cage — and that even seeing her dream realized won’t bring her because she has to die in order for him to get out. Bela’s actions say that she trusts absolutely no one — except the demon who keeps giving her tasks (find different magical artifacts, get the Colt, kill Sam) with the promise of letting her out of her Deal. We know through Becky that Crowley is the one Bela gives the Colt to, and possibly who she has more immediate direct communication with, but the orders there have to come from Lilith since Crowley most likely wasn’t King of the Crossroads yet.
And, as I said at the outset, there’s a fundamental powerplay with Bela/Lilith, a fundamental inequality — but I think that, because they’re both so outstandingly lonely, there’s also an understanding. Bela can appreciate the skill and power and usefulness of other people, and I think that, in Lilith, she would see someone who knows how it feel to have it bad on all angles and keep on going, regardless.
Likewise, Lilith would see a lot of herself in Bela — a hotter temper, granted, but still, the loneliness, the refusal to be vulnerable or taken advantage of, the perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds. I think she’d see a lot of potential in Bela, that she’d have fun playing with Bela’s temper, and that she’d want Bela to have the chance to be more than just another human, grasping at straws and picking up scraps.
from my Bela/Lilith mini-manifesto.
Thirty Days of SPN Women, Day Twenty-One: Favourite femslash ship (1/4) — Bela/Lilith.
SPN fic: “quiver (because nothing stands between us here).”
Bela Talbot/Lilith. PG-13/soft R (death-fic, references to child abuse and sexual assault).
Kill Sam and Dean Winchester. Bela’s task has five simple words that are infinitely complicated in all their subtleties and nuances… (written for ~tectrices.)
mirrors: livejournal | dreamwidth.
The light, this fire that devours,
this gray landscape that surrounds me,
this sorrow for one sole idea,
this anguish of sky, world and hour;
this lament of blood that adorns
a lyre now without pulse, lascivious touch,
this weight of the sea that pounds me,
this scorpion that dwells in my breast,
are a garland of love, bed of the wounded,
where without sleep, I dream of your presence
amid the ruins of my sunken breast.
And although I seek the peak of prudence
your heart gives me a valley spread
with hemlock and passion of bitter knowledge.
~ Federico Garcia Lorca, “Wounds of Love.”
TEN DAYS OF SHIPS: Day 6: 6 scenes that made you fall in love with your ships.
Simon Tam/Jayne Cobb from Firefly.
Sam Winchester/Ruby from Supernatural.
Erik Lensherr/Charles Xavier from X-Men: First Class.
Twilight Sparkle/Princess Luna from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
Dean Winchester/Alastair from Supernatural.
Dean Winchester/Castiel from Supernatural.
Bela Talbot/Lilith from Supernatural.
The Bela/Lilith one needs some explanation (almost everything else can be summed up with, “OH MY GOD I LOVE ANGST T.T”). But this scene from “Time Is On My Side” is where we start learning Bela’s backstory — eventually culminating in the reveal that she made a Crossroads Deal to kill her parents and end the abuse she suffered in their home — and instead of showing remorse, she shows Dean the same devil may care sort of attitude she’s had all through season three. She eventually breaks down sobbing, sure, but… right now, she thinks she can get out of going to Hell in this episode.
She trusts Lilith’s offer that much, enough that she doesn’t even question it. She takes some precautions against the hounds, but… to trust someone who’s pretty blatantly exploited you since square one? Who got you out of an abusive home, sure, but then took advantage of you herself? If that’s not (a twisted, fucked up kind of) love, I don’t know what is.
